Return

We're Past All That will be returning to active duty next week.

I had to take a brief pause in the posting because there was some evidence surfacing that perhaps we were not past all that, but now we definitely are, so I can get back to work.

Part of the problem was that there were just so many examples of how past things we were that I became overwhelmed.  Perhaps I should begin to pace myself.

Miss America

America is a melting pot (or an ethnic salad if you prefer).  Certainly we have no issues with people of a non Western European ethnicity doing something like winning a Miss America pageant.  Obviously there wouldn't be tweets from average Americans displaying shocking ignorance.  Nothing like that would happen here because we're past all that.

Seriously, some days, it's actually hard to get the satire into this fucking bullshit....

Some Days It's Just Too Easy

Some days I don't even really have to do any introduction.  It is just absolutely self-explanatory how past all that we are.  Like this little gem about how one white person complained and got a party of twenty five kicked out of a restaurant.  You could almost JUST link this article to anyone who still thinks we're NOT past all that.

No. Explanation. Needed.

Yeah, But It's Not Racism If You're Kidding

If only minorities would learn that they don't need to be telling white people when they're offended.  White people will magnanimously inform them of when it's okay to be offended and when it isn't.

And when they're joking around, it's obviously not time to be offended.  That just makes it edgy humor.  Sheesh, learn to take a joke.  Like this gem here.  Clearly this isn't really racist.

Lighten up.  White people have informed you that the "slanted eyes and yellow thighs" bit was HI-larious and that you shouldn't be offended.  Trust me, they'll let you know when you should be.  They'll get all quiet and look at you pensively and say, "Are.....are you okay?"

Death Threats Shmeth Threats

Sending death threats to kill family members that are so graphic that the head writer of a video game quits is obviously uncool, but you know boys will be boys.  This writer clearly needs to grow up and learn how to internets or something.  The fact that it was about same sex relationships is just a vestige of the old ignorance that hasn't been swept away.  Clearly we're past all that, and it is not endemic of a large cultural issue that someone feels comfortable enough to issue death threats.  This is an isolated incident.  Just like the last Dragon Age game was an isolated incident.  Just like the other Bioware games were isolated incidents.  Just like the Bethesda games that allow for same sex choices are isolated incidents.  Just like every video game that allows for same sex choices getting death threats are isolated incidents.

All of them.  The lot.  Isolated.

I mean if this blog is proof of anything, it's that none of these "bad apples" is part of a bigger pattern.

Firefighter Deserved Tazing

So a firefighter riding a bike in Evansville waved at a cop and was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.  It turned out he was a youth minister and a member of the local fire department and was just being friendly.  However, only the most cynical rabble rousers are going to suggest that his treatment was because he was black.  That's just ridiculous. Waving is a very threatening gesture.  Waving at a COP, like maybe you're friendly or something is very stupid.  I'm surprised the guy didn't get tazed.  You can't just run around waving at people.  This has nothing to do with race.  I'm sure a white man on a bike waving at a cop would have gotten exactly the same treatment.  We are, after all, past all that.

Thrown Bananas Aren't a REAL Problem

I'm sure that this is a misunderstanding and that the person who threw a banana at Adam Jones was actually a fan who was worried that he wasn't getting enough potassium.  Because clearly nothing like this could actually happen in our wonderful post-racial world where the only stories of racism are the ones minorities make up about marginalization for attention, pity, and to stack the deck in their favor.

Oh Look, Another Crazy Study That Says Nothing

This is a study that finds blacks blocked from juries three times as often as whites in the south.  Even if this study were not some back water institution, and even if it's methodology was not highly suspect, this is not as statistically significant finding. Three times as much? That's nothing. If I were a scientist and I found a correlation that weak, I would not even bother recording it.  Seriously. I'm sure every one of them was legitimate and there are no patterns here. The real racism here is trying to smear these poor white lawyers for their choices.

Jake Vale Has it Right

In this Letter to Jake Vale Explaining Rape Culture C.J. Redwine creates some convoluted world in which rape is so frequent and common that it has its own culture.  Please.  It's not like a statistically significant number of people are raped (certainly not something like a third), and if they are (when they're not just lying about not having buyer's remorse, that is) I'm sure that in most cases it was due to some misunderstanding, and if women really think hard about it, they'll realize that THEY were the cause of the misunderstanding. Men lose the ability to control themselves and not rape when skirts reach a certain length or when they are lead on with friendly smiles.  Rape culture indeed. These women who are complaining are just oversensitive. I'm absolutely sure that if Jake Vale were to go around picking up strange men and carrying them around nothing bad would ever happen to him.

Absolutely.

The (Very) Vocal Minority

As you can see from this pictograph breakdown, it is quite easy to demonstrate that we are past all that with irrefutable logic. There might be some vociferous few who just want the spotlight on them, or who want to blow up isolated incidents into something more than they are, but as you can see, with the proper application of determined logic through the Socratic method, you can literally leave these naysayers at a loss for words.

Of COURSE It's Not Racist.

It's hard to imagine someone so sensitive that they can come up with multiple examples of racism every single day.  The only thing that's racist is people who continue to talk about race like we're not past all that.  I mean if you read these examples of.....um.....

Wait....

Well...uh...maybe they're made up.  Yes, that's it.  Just made up stories.  Thousands upon thousands of blatant lies.

White People's Unique Qualification

As is clearly evidenced here, white people are uniquely qualified to know what other people should just get over.  People who aren't white tend to be shrill and not realize that we're past all that.  But really what would they know about being offended?

It JUST Means Defeat

It's okay to talk about our ignorant past of ignorance as long as it is in no way applicable to the present, requires no sincere self-refection or pragmatic change in behavior and is all largely theoretical.  Because, of course, we're past all that.  This article is of course complete poppycock but I really want to talk about Brandon C. Francis's comment.  See since no one ever really gets raped anymore in the world where we're past that sort of thing, it's okay to use that word to (appropriately) call into question an article, and it in no way undermines the meaning for actual victims of rape.  If rape happened with shocking frequency or to 1 in 5 women, that would be one thing, but we're enlightened now, so it's not insulting at all.

Blah Blah Blah Godwin's Law Blah

Yes, Stephen Fry, this letter to David Cameron is all very well, but an entire class of people being excluded from the olympics and threatened with arrest just for showing up doesn't really effect anyone negatively does it?  Those gay athletes can just try again in four more years right?  No biggie.

Those Damned Abuse Victims!

Nothing gives quite so clear a picture of how past all that we are as when a 41 year old statutory rapist blames his 13 victim for tempting him, and the lawyer actually runs with it as the legal defense. I mean clearly this is not a society that has any sort of messed up pictures of men's culpability when it comes to their sexual choices.  Nope.  Past all that.

Mommy Blogger

There's nothing quite like a reaction to simply sharing a story about being assaulted for gender roles--a reaction SO negative it drives a person to suicidal ideation and forces them to take down their blog--to really hammer home how past all this sexism stuff we are.

Sexism dies on a Tuesday!

Sexism is dead!  Feminism is superfluous!  There is no gender inequality anymore.

Oh wait.....

Maybe that's not QUITE true yet.  (http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2013/08/06/surely-sexism-is-dead-and-feminism-superfluous/)